Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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