Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
