So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Randomize
