i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
