If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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