I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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