what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
