Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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