im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
