I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize