why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
