You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
