Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
