Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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