yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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