God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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