Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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