hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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