It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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