No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
