i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
