Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
