Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
