it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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