It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
