it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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