Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
