I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
