Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
