butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
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