I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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