she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Randomize
