Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
