what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
