I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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