We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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