Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
