Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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