No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
