Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
