That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
