The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
