My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
