I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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