There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
