How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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