you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
