I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
