i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
