just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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