I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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