He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
