So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
