Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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