talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
