Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
