So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
