someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
