Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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