Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
