Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
