In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
