then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We named our party play list daddy issues
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
